[ Cardigan - Old Navy, top, trousers - Forever 21, shoes - Old Navy ]

Yesterday I…

• made Chris get up with me at 530a as I got ready for work.
• found Ossie snuggled back in the bed when I kissed him goodbye.
• sent something special back.
• attended my first Monday morning meeting with the entire division.
• was being killed by my allergies. 
• drank my body weight in water.
• stopped in the bathroom before leaving work and realized that I rubbed the majority of my eyeliner off my eye. but just the right one.
• missed some good friends.
• didn’t fold the fitted sheet because I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.
• planned for a date night out but didn’t.
• ended up in sweatpants on the couch watching River Monsters (one of Chris’ shows).
• fell asleep during River Monsters. woke up half way through River Monsters.
• crawled into bed at 9.

Cardigan and shoes paired before here.

bits and pieces from my moleskine

The past two weeks, I’ve been reading a lot of writing. I’ve been thinking about writing. I’ve been going back to old writing, like that big pink chunk of a journal and that slim silver one. I’ve been going back to favorite inspirations, like Amelia Gray’s AM/PM.

And slowly, I’ve been getting back to my own writing. I’ve been doing less journaling, less blogging, and focusing more on strengthening my manuscripts for school.

This semester I want to write something meaningful to me rather than just fulfilling the assignment’s requirements. Something fresh, something vulnerable.

(It’s harder than it sounds.)

dear sweet tea,
goodbye. officially giving you up for lemonade.

dear pandora,
thanks for the introduction this song. drown by carolina liar. i like it a lot.

dear uterus,
your period cramps are insanely severe this month. calm it down.

dear fan,
i’m sitting with a heating pad slung across my belly (due to said cramps) in a house with broken a/c when it’s over 100° outside. and you’re the only thing saving me from a heat stroke. this feels like a bad idea.

dear ossie,
why? (and i’m embarrassed to admit that i blubbered up about this)

dear blog,
me right now. i’m grumpy. and this list is going down hill.

This week the weather has been 107°, 97°, 105°, & 103° in Oklahoma. And the best thing about the massive heat wave is that our air conditioner broke last week! Ugh. But despite the inconvenience, it’s been actually kind of nice to figure out ways to stay cool.

Yesterday, Chris and I spent the afternoon lying on top of our sheets. Listening to an old fan, shoulder to shoulder and toes touching. Talking and laughing and playing games. Roughing it isn’t too bad when it’s with him. I would never change it!

Notice anything a bit different? Hair hair hair! Three days ago I finally got my hair color touched up. Hopefully, I’ve been sneaky with my photos and you haven’t noticed how bad my roots were. Real bad…proof! I added more white-blonde. It feels so fresh and nice!

P.S. Harry Potter midnight showing tonight! I was watching some interviews with the cast and of course, J.K. Rowling, and I’m already getting all weepy! I can’t believe the book series & now the film series is coming to an end.

Despite being pretty open with my personal life, I still get unnerved with sharing things that I consider private. But this one, I should let you know: for the past semester I haven’t been feeling much like myself.

In my life, the things I’ve cared about and strove for came very naturally. I’ve always been head strong and passionate. But now that my life has been changing, I’m having trouble ironing out my priorities and trusting my instincts. I’ve been apathetic and unmotivated at a colossal level. I’d go through spells of anxiety and pouting and hating everything that I putting so much time into. I didn’t feel talented at anything I was doing and eventually wasn’t putting fully into it.

I couldn’t make up my mind when it came to larger life concerns. Why am I feeling this way? What are my reasons for doing/not doing this? Where do I want to be? What do I need to change? It’s kind of been a big slop that I’ve just been trying to trudge through. I feel like a lot people my age/my situation are going through the same things/”is this what I want to be knees deep in?”. So what am I doing now? Nothing too different than before. I’m trying not to feel rushed to be what other people want me to be and be honest with myself. Oh, and a big one: that there doesn’t have to be a side of guilt with everything. I can change my mind, I can go at my own pace, and create new opportunities for myself.

It’ll work out. I’m already feeling better about it, if I’m being honest.

Shot from my moleskine, snippets from my art final (the dreaded self portrait!) using 6B graphite, & my art pack

This week is finals week! Criiiinge. I really didn’t want to get back into the seriousness of studying after the amazing weekend I had. Today, I plan on finishing up my final art project, tomorrow hitting the books….can’t wait.

Awesome moment of the day: Sunday, while out in Bricktown celebrating my sister’s birthday, we saw Tony Allen! Tony Allen plays for the Memphis Grizzlies. He was out after just playing a game against the OKC Thunder. Still don’t know who he is? Well…us either. Until Chris reminded us he was this guy who was all over SportsCenter last week.

Get ready for some puppy spam coming up in my next post…

Chris with Molly, my parent’s new pup

Vintage headscarf seen earlier in this post

After all the craziness that was this weekend, it was nice to go to my favorite pizzeria with my favorite boy. To hold hands in an old booth with cracked leather seats. To slow everything down and be reminded what really counts.

Other things from my weekend:

• the batch of cookies I baked (and nearly ate all by myself)
• walking around in the heat and the compulsive need to keep my hair up
• singing messages on a friend’s voicemail
• my sister’s college graduation invitation
• the adorable pile of wrinkles that is my parent’s new puppy
• Chris catching me eating a cinnamon roll and reading a magazine while in the tub
• NBA finals first round

This morning I had a sleepy start. Ok, a very sleep start. I was completely cinnabun cozy and warm in bed. It was dark and windy and rainy outside. Perfect weather to stay inside…but I got up and with a ballcap and without a bra, I left for the class that ended up being canceled. Ooph.

I’m now at home painting my nails and enjoying the start to my weekend. My friend is arriving in town later this afternoon, so eventually I’ll stop being lazybones and get up and around. I’m ready for some movies & margaritas!

Magazine excerpt of a how-to fake a bob with long hair